Posted by Dan simpson in | 4/17/2016 No comments

The next time you are on a public transport, put your phone down, remove your earplugs and take a good look around you. What do you see? People texting on their phones, not wanting to meet each other’s gaze, avoiding contact as much as possible yet remaining in touch virtually with their near and dear ones. Why, even after being so close, are we so distant from one another? What prompts people to shy away from genuine human interaction, but compels them to not leave a message unread? 

There is no denying the fact that technology has obliterated boundaries. We as a species are more accessible to each other now than ever before. Its primary function is to act as a tool to maintain an already existing human relationship and not replace it. What started as a means to find emotional connections through pages like messengers and MSN, has become the connection itself. Today, apps like Tinder have made finding love so profoundly transactional that it is no different than buying a t-shirt. We look at the statistics, zoom in on the pictures, form our notions which hinder the whole process of going out there and embracing the unknown.

The idea of meeting a tall, dark and handsome stranger on a bus has only been a dream. In reality, we are driven by our falsified prejudicated perceptions of people. At first glance, we make up our minds of who the person is without even uttering a word of greeting. It is this misguided, judgemental nature that brings us to our next big problem. Loneliness. We have all gone through the phase of feeling alone, being part of a pain that is beyond the comprehension of another human. The notion that we don’t fit in constantly looms over our heads. This is another misconception that we seem to carry, along with our perceptive eyes.

We continue to reply to questions such as “How are you?” in an almost repetitively similar way. “I’m fine” is the ideal response that society asks to say, but are we really fine? We carry this veil of the person that society wants us to be and use it as a mask to hide the character that truly lies beneath. Wouldn’t the people who we feel won’t understand our pain, have a better grasp at our mental state if we just communicated how we really are, not just through words and smileys, but through expressions. When we begin to do this we would realize how alike we all are. It is our loneliness, the need to form a genuine connect with people that binds us.

We are so entwined in the past, so lost in the decay of a relationship that we continue to ignore what the present can bring for us. It is that decay, the emotional turmoil faced at the end of a relationship that hinders us to initiate a new connection. Why, things that started off with intense passion loose steam and end up dry and lifeless has always eluded is. And it is this very reason that we shield ourselves emotionally.

Change is inevitable. We as a species and individually evolve every day. When we start on a journey with someone, along the way we allow our experiences to change our wants and desires. Along with those changes, we also allow ourselves to outgrow the person that we were. In a long standing relationship this can be seen as a hindrance. Rather than being confined it would seem that the relationship is blocking us from truly realizing our potential. We become hesitant. The things that were once shared, the thought of constantly telling our newest desires, don’t get communicated anymore.  “They won’t understand me” is the explanation that we give to our changing attitudes towards our partners. This can bleed negativity and inadvertently cause the couple to become distant to the point when we lose all emotional attachments that we had to our partner and realize we are just waking up next to a stranger every morning. And it is in this struggle to maintain one’s individuality or sacrifice for the sake of the partner that the relationship ultimately suffers. Minor arguments can then eventually, boil into catastrophic fights which just unlock the ticking time bomb that the relationship was and destroy it. This can be devastating to both the parties and it would only make sense to focus on oneself and avoid being in a relationship altogether after it’s ended. It is then that we shield ourselves with technology and use it as a crutch.

It is critical that we continue on the path of greater self-awareness at the same time being considerate to the needs of our partners. Depression can slowly creep in if we keep ourselves limited to the confines of our situation. We all dream about getting comfortable in a cushy job but when that finally happens we realize we are not satisfied. When the dreaded realization of stability hits us we find ourselves in a situation when we feel that nothing can be done about it. We let the monotony define our lives and that kills our want to seek the thrill of embracing uncharted ventures. The relationship takes a serious fall for things that clearly can be in our control. We lose the trust that we once had on our intellect that we won’t able to navigate through the toughest of challenges and thus keep content with being average. We can’t change what’s going on around us until we fight the battle that is raging within us. Have faith in your strong character. Have trust that the accolades you coveted in the past were well deserving and given the opportunity you can prove your worth once again.

The unknown has always fascinated us than the known. Humans have undergone centuries of evolution but our basic human needs of acceptance, love and achieving great success have remained the same. We are luckier now than our forefathers ever were. At the mere click of a button we have the world waiting, ready to be explored. We crave for genuine affection and intimacy which our touchscreens simply can’t provide. It is our hunger for striving to be the best versions of ourselves that has driven us for centuries. Weather to keep lingering in the past and get cosy in an average life, or to undo the shackles of monotony and embrace the unknown; the choice is completely ours. 
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